Sam Cutler

I was asleep, fast asleep, with huge trucks rushing past me on the highway and not one of them less that six feet from my nose. I slept like only a deaf man can in the midst of such an unholy racket. I dreamed about the great 'inventions' in the world .. radio, television, rockets, all that shit, and as I lay there half way between stupor and stupid I had an amazing insight. I had asked myself, what is the greatest invention in the history of mankind ? The one that has brought real pleasure to more people than anything else, even sex ? And, in a moment of Alexandrian-library-insight a voice in my head replied, the back scratcher ! Yes the humble back scratcher, the one we turn to when all else is lost and we simply cannot reach the spot ! Yes that one ! Then I realised that I had woken up and that whilst my thought processes were continuing upon their rocky path I was actually sitting up on my bed in the bus and gasping with satiated pleasure .. I had my Balinese backscratcher in my hand and was slowly and deliciously answering the call of "the spot" .. the place that none but a back scratcher can reach. In the here and now, in the sheer unalloyed relief-of-suffering, the back scratcher seemed phenomenal and worth a king's ransom. It seemed to satisfy 'beyond the call of duty' ... it was an invention of immeasurable utility and merit .. a boon and dear companion .. a divine answer to an age old question. WHY are we designed in such a way that there are parts of our back that we cannot reach ? And whilst we're asking fundamental questions about our 'design' ... why were we not equipped with an 'off switch' ? I fell between stupor and stupid with a grin, and asked myself the further rhetorical question, "why is gravity the same speed as the speed of light"? And fell asleep faster than a speeding nebula. Surely things would be a little easier if they were slower, I mused, and with that (I guess) I must have started snoring without a care in the world as I realised that (on some levels) my own ignorance IS another form of bliss !! AND that I don't really care !! One love

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